The problem is that both the masculine and the feminine manifestations of the Human Condition are just “there”.
They are not “lost”, so much as they are repressed — notably of late by the feminist agenda that has a frightfully hard time distinguishing between the authority that comes with competence . . . and tyranny. And as a side-note, we repress such fundamental aspects of the Human Condition, at our great peril. For they will almost always “back-lash”.
The male archetype extends all the way from the wise ruler to the evil despot. A generally unrealized side-effect of empowering women, is empowering them to make some truly dismal choices of mates. An episode with a tyrant is enough to make them think that every wise exercise of competence, is nothing more than oppressive power-based tyranny.
But it is a woefully unbalanced view. It would be like having a disastrous encounter with a witch or devouring mother and presuming that every exercise of femininity had these dark power-spins to them. (Ie, the archetype only spins negatively. For reference, an archetype is a universal manifestation of the “grammar” of our Human emotional motivations).
Current society is out-of-balance, because the feminist view of the world through a rather simplistic model of power-based negative behavior is out of balance. And right now, they have far far more power and sway over the society than the men.
I get upset when Immortal Pirate thinks that I am going to argue with him, berate him, or scold him when I am only trying to communicate. He gets this drop-shoulder posture and sputtering a half of a sentence that sounds like he doesn’t want to say what is on his mind. He says, “I’m —– I was —- a-heh-aaa — I….” To which I answer, “That was only half of a sentence.” I feel like he feels hen pecked and I don’t want to do that. The other 99% of the time, he says what he means and means what he says. It is with confident masculinity that is very attractive.
Granted, that sputtering came after neither of us knew where to find the car battery on a Smart For Two coup. We looked in all the logical places — under the hood? — nope. — In the engine compartment behind the seat? — Nope — Well, it confounded both of us. He Googled it and found it under the floor board of the passenger’s side foot well. It didn’t follow logic and there is nothing more confounding to the male ego than something that doesn’t follow logical thinking. He is always my hero and I don’t expect him to know where everything is on a Smart car. Males are born knowing how to fix a car. It is part of their self pride.
I love that take-charge attitude in my men. I guess it is because I have had a few men in my life that were not mechanically inclined and were feminine in nature. Both of my sons are gay. But my oldest son was straight and made a conscious choice to have a gay lifestyle. He is very mechanical and logical. I have found myself inspecting him from afar. He looks masculine. He walks with a masculine gate. He dresses masculine. He keeps his body hair natural. He talks in a masculine voice (unless he is trying to put on the gay voice —- just to annoy me.) The only thing that gave away his gayness (a bunch of straight men told me) was that he wears gay shoes. His point is that women are unpredictable and full of drama. The men he chooses are masculine, much like he is. When he comes home from work he knows what his male partner is doing. He knows his mood and there are no hormonal ups and downs. Life is easier when your partner is a male.
My other son is gay and has no logic to his thinking. He shaves his body hair and tries to dress unisex. He has even worn a dress and pink wig. He is a tall man who looks like Dr. Phil McGraw —- so, imagine Dr. Phil McGraw in a dress and pink wig. I’m just shaking my head and washing my hands of him. He is too melodrama for me and we are always clashing in personalities. He doesn’t fit in my world, so he was welcomed to leave and never return.
I do not understand why some men don’t want to be masculine. I will never understand and I don’t have to understand. My world works better because my man is a masculine man. He is everything I am not. He is my mated other half. He can do all of the tasks that I do. But, I cannot do all of the tasks he can do. He is my Superman and hero. I would not have him any other way than exactly the way he is.
@ladybarbara The first great power that women exercised over men was in the Garden of Eden: Eve made Adam self-conscious. And women are still capable of doing this with just a glance — particularly in a negative sense — with alarming ease. Because they are “Mother Nature”: that which selects the genes deemed worthy of continuance and consigns the rest to the genetic scrap-heap.
The masculine behavioral traits lean towards systematization. There is a logical place for everything; and the dreaded “dead tool outline” on the garage peg-board is one of the most traumatic experiences the male psyche can experience: something is not in it’s ordained place! (Which works even if “the ordained place” for used socks is in a heap in the corner!).
Most ancient societies and wisdom traditions cast Chaos . . . as feminine. Which CAN be taken negatively if emotion or ideology “requires” it. But Chaos also represents potential: the potential that can breathe new creative life into the Old Order (which tends to ossify if not constantly renewed with shots of Chaos). This is why a healthy liberal left is as essential to a society as a properly-functioning conservative right: and the perfect complement to a man is a woman and vice versa.
Men almost always tend to get along better and more easily . . . with men. Fewer shots of chaos and ego-rattling self-consciousness. Ossification . . . can be quite predictably comfortable. Women tend to get along better and more easily with other women (so long as mating competition is not afoot! Then they can be vicious enough to make the men run for cover! It’s an interesting biological fact that the reproductive cycles of women living in cohesive social groups tends to align over time so they can all compete equally for the desirable males).
We cannot overlook that a huge draw for males to abandon masculinity, is the feminist shaming and vilification of it. It’s openly indoctrinated into them at a grade-school (and even home-life) level. There was (and still is?) a disastrous parenting/teaching philosophy of trying to raise boys to “be more like girls”. (Imagine the outcry if the reverse was tried!)
Add to this the feminist penchant to utterly confuse male competency with male tyranny.
Add to this that learning to be competent and take on adult responsibility is a rather treacherous affair and it’s far easier for a young man to just abdicate responsibility and remain incompetent.
Add to this the fact that many liberated women “like” men like this because they don’t compete with them.
Add to this the problem many liberated women have properly handling their maternal compassion that prepares them to be exploited by a baby with no innate competency — that leads to their being coupled to a “big baby” with no innate competency. (ie, no incentive for the men to develop personal responsibility and competency if someone will “mother them”)
Add some environmental contaminants like a radical increase in the free estrogen in the environment (side-effect of the birth control pill and our addiction to plastics which persist in the environment and are a source of estrogen). Augment this with PBA — a known inhibitor of the male gamete and present to this day in plastic bottle and tin-can linings, and for years as a plastic softening agent in the toys boys chewed on . . .
And we seem to have a perfect storm of gender confusion brewing.
I believe it was Christina Hoff Summers that titled one of her books and coined the very accurate phrase, “The War Against Boys”.
It highlights where The Wicked Matriarchy takes over from The Evil Patriarchy and proves in just 60 years that “anything you can do I can do better”.
BTW, this is NOT to vilify. There’s already been too much of that and we’ve paid a terrible price for it. This is about education. We need to see and own the problem . . . before anything meaningful can be done about it.
I don’t think it’s a masculinity issue. You heard the thing about “real men don’t cry” ? But maybe real men do. Being in touch with your emotions is a healthy thing. Psychology shows us that bottling up emotions can cause them to come out in destructive ways. And the some of the examples listed are… bogus. Working long hours sometimes is necessary. But wouldn’t it be a better thing to work smarter, not harder? Instead of needing to go off to war to fight for one’s country, a better thing is to make peace. This video didn’t consider that option. Instead of putting one’s life in danger, why not strive to make things better, safer (for instance, better fire resistant materials) so there’s less need of firefighters, a more stable social structure, so there’s less need of police, education at the earliest of ages to call out the evil(s) of society and recognize them for what they are and the ideas to stop them from being started. by the next generation.
@Jear77 There are many many things men do (gentlemen in particular) not because they want to or because they’re easy . . . but because they need to be done and nobody else is lining up to do them. And it’s a normative fact that women as a group are far more in touch with their emotions (both positive AND negative) than men as a group. (That’s why women as a group rate higher in trait-neurosity and are significantly more susceptible to several broad classes of mental illnesses than men).
Men as a group have an ability to compartmentalize. It’s not that we don’t cry. There’s just less of a sensitivity to negative emotions plus the innate desire for competency (so we’re attractive to the women) that we tend to “put away the tears” (compartmentalize) sooner as it really doesn’t resolve any external problems of the moment. We pay a price for this, and have to find creative ways to deal with the emotions after-the-fact. But it’s part of being a competent and responsible gentleman. And almost every male that is introduced to this knowledge, gladly and willingly takes on this burden.
Consider that throughout Human History there HAVE been times when an active and even violent confrontation was necessary for the sake of protecting “hearth and home” where the women were busy with most important aspect of Human continuation. Even unto war sometimes being necessary. Men are essentially “the more expendible genetic agent” — plus natural selection by women over time has kept the “animal” side of the male psyche close to the surface. There’s good evidence of this in the outrageous success of the quintessential archetypal story of of the “female hero” being “Beauty and the Beast”. Add to this the book “A Billion Wicked Thoughts” that revealed for the first time that while male pornographic attraction is visual, female pornographic attraction is literary — almost invariable involving the class of “most dangerous men” (Vampires, werewolves, pirates and surgeons — yea, the last is a bit of a head-scratcher but hey! We’re talking about women’s deeply primitive emotional motivations!).
And in closing we need to be OUTRAGEOUSLY wary of the hand-santizer/safety-first ideology of “protecting ourselves from having to protect ourselves”. It just makes us and our offspring weak to the extreme. The folly of this has been proven out undeniably and rather catastrophically over time with more and more weakened and sick children.
That doesn’t meant we cannot work to mitigate unnecessary risk. But a life without risk just makes us weak and more easily extinct.
@griz Just because you wish to struggle, be expendable, wish to say “this doesn’t matter, move on,” and have a life of needless danger (there’s risk in basically everything – including breathing, but some is… unacceptable) doesn’t mean I do.
Your question highlights a horrendous snafu in the whole “gender identity” ideology. Children have no idea what their “gender identity” is. Apparently even some adults don’t know, so how can we expect a child to know?
Clinical psychologists know that a number of children, in trying to make sense of the world, dabble with the notion they are the opposite sex/gender. They also know that of this group, over 85% end the perceptual experiment in accepting the identity and reproductive duties of their physically manifest gender. Most of those who do not, go on to become gay or lesbian.
The parents who are pushing to have their children sexually re-assigned are mainly just virtue-signalling their “progressiveness” to the community and locking their children into an unproductive path that most of them will come to regret. There have been 10-year follow-ups on people who have had full gender-reassignment treatment. While study samples are understandably very very small, the verdict seems to be that suicide-rate (one of the major reasons/excuses for the procedure) either remain unchanged, or rise drastically — depending upon which study one is citing. The problem is evidently NOT with social pressures like bullying. Because if there is no physical incongruity between their physical body and the “identified gender”, there is no social pressure or bullying. Only the pressure of trying to live something they know to be false.
There is no responsible way to assess such a life-altering decision on the child’s subjective assessment alone, whether they truly will become the less than 1% who genuinely suffer with gender identity dysphoria. And it would now seem that the surgery/hormone treatment doesn’t accomplish what is intended. I believe President Obama’s own medicare researching determined in 2016 that on the grounds of these studies, using medicare money for the procedure was not warranted.
But it’s a valid question for those who are band-wagoning on this issue.
If they suppose a child is old enough to know they need to “gender-reassigned” . . . why would they not be old enough to determine they are ready to have a meaningful sexual relationship with an adult? Even a disastrous sexual misadventure can be healed from in time.
But gender re-assignment is permanent. Once the “offending” tissues are removed, they’re gone.
@griz “why would they not be old enough to determine they are ready to have a meaningful sexual relationship with an adult? Even a disastrous sexual misadventure can be healed from in time.”
DO NOT try to rationalize or legitimize pedophilia. Sex with a child is wrong. It is a crime against a child. No amount of time will heal the wounds of such horrible and disastrous sexual misadventure as you called it. There is only one cure for pedophilia…
It was in no way an attempt to rationalize or legitimize something horrendous. The line of though was the incongruity in the victimhood groups — asserting on one hand that a child was capable of life-altering sexual decision but not another.
Many “misadventures” (encounters with evil) can be ameliorated if not outright healed. But only by Spiritual means — which is FAR more powerful than just physical or emotional means.
My only experience is with my youngest son, who threw a temper tantrum at four years old — because he thought he was a girl. To be told that he was a boy made him very angry. He spent his childhood trying to be girlish. When I took them to church, he was angry that he had to wear nice jeans and t-shirt, while girls got to dress up in cute dresses and pretty shoes. I ignored his tantrums and ONLY purchased male oriented toys for my sons to play with. He would take his Tonka trucks and share them with the little girls down the street. In turn, they would let him play with their dolls and doll house. When he was 10years old, my husband tried joining Indian Guides. The fathers and sons met in my living room to make feathered head dresses. My son went to his room to get glue, ribbons, and glitter and made a glamorous feathered hat that made my husband so embarrassed that they quit Indian Guides. There was no getting around it. My son wanted to be a girl. He made up his mind that he was a girl when he was four years old.
When my son was 10, or 11, I was remaking his bed and found a Polaroid picture of a man’s penis under his mattress. I said nothing and put it back where I found it. However, I watched my son and watched to see who was around him, who he played with, and who all of his friends were. I wanted to catch who the penis picture came from. But, all his friends were females. He had no male friends. Even his older brother did not want to be friends with him. He said his brother was “weird” and embarrassing to be around.
At 12 years old, this son was tall and pre-teen. He ended up in a Foster home where the Foster father introduced my son to sex using a vacuum cleaner hose, and then anal sex and oral sex. My son went into his teens at the same time as Boy George was famous. My son was a Boy George look-alike and the Foster parents encouraged him to dress like Boy George and wear eye make-up. From there, he had a fully gay lifestyle. —— I had no part of it. I signed Articles of Emancipation and walked away from the whole mess. At 15, his life was his own. At 18, the Foster family was no longer going to get money for him, so they put him and his belongings out on the sidewalk. My son was now homeless and working as a prostitute to live on the streets.
So, he picked his sexuality at a young age. He was introduced to sex at a young age.
Not sure why this matters… If someone changes their mind about what they want or discovers something in them regarding their sexuality at some later date other than the age of consent, who am i (or you) to naysay them? You may not “swing that way” but to take away someone’s right to do something if they change their mind or have different experiences based on your belief system that forbids it… what gives you the right?