What do you do when you receive a compliment? are you able to say a simple thank you, or do you typically find a way to disagree with the compliment?
Is it okay for a man to compliment a woman in the culture that we live in today? where is the line between a compliment and something inappropriate?




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  1. griz 1 year ago

    It’s like a gift, so I apply the same rules. Is it genuine appreciation, or a control game? So if it is a real gift and not some sort of “bribe” I’ll accept it, thank them, and try to break any tension with humor.

    Actually, we’ve moved into a place socially where it’s downright risky to compliment (or even greet?) a woman unless you are in personal relationship with them. Even complimenting a female co-worker is fraught with risk.

    Which is a shame. There’s a lot of women who go to a lot of effort to be noticed or otherwise distinguish themselves. It’s best just to avert your gaze and walk away.

    You appear rude; but at least you don’t have to defend yourself for some imagined offense.

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  2. ladybarbara 1 year ago

    I say, “Thank you.” and take it for the compliment it is.

    If a man compliments me, I say, “Thank you.” but, I wonder what his motive is.

    I had just grabbed a basket at Home Depot and entered the store. A man was in the store balancing a large stack of packs of light bulbs. I gave him my basket for him to put all of those packs in. He complimented me on being so kind and thoughtful. I said, “Thank you. I just saw that you needed a basket.” I was heading back outside to get another basket and this man left the basket I gave him — and he escorted me out of the store. He escorted me as I got another basket. That was weird. I went along with it and complimented him on being such a gentleman. Even when a man’s compliment and actions feel “weird”, he had good intentions. When a man is simply paying you a kindness, it is rude to verbally slap him, or snap at him. He is simply being kind and a gentleman. When a man opens the door for me, I always thank him.

    Then, there was a man who came up behind me at a tractor festival. I was just about to sit down at a table and the man rushed forward and said, “May I get your chair?” I was flattered as he reached for my chair to pull it out from the table. I said, “Thank you.” but he was gone! I sat down and fell on the ground. He had taken the chair to another table and was seating his own lady at the next table. I was lucky that I did not drop my taco in the dirt. I got up off the ground. I don’t think anyone noticed me — an old lady falling to the ground. I dusted myself off and walked away, on my quest to eat my taco while searching for Immortal Pirate, who I had lost in the crowds. If Immortal Pirate had been with me when the man snatched the chair I was about to sit on, I am sure that he would have replaced my chair before I fell — then the man who stole the chair would have had an angry run in with Immortal Pirate. Immortal Pirate is a gallant gentleman.

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  3. immortal_pirate 1 year ago

    The line between a compliment and something inappropriate is in the mind of the recipient.
    Perception is a two edged sword, it cuts through the bullshit or it dumps it where it shouldn’t be dumped.
    The unfortunate thing is that in this environment of social justice warriors and extreme feminism, a simple and honest compliment is taken out of context by thin skinned people that are too immature for their own good. If I said “you have nice eyes” or “I love your hair”, just say thank you and move on. I’m not coming on to you. Grow some skin. ( Some people have more baggage than I care to deal with).

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      Scarlett 1 year ago

      @immortal_pirate I can understand that, and I see people who complain about cat calls, and then try to get attention from married men. that does strike me as odd.

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      • immortal_pirate 1 year ago

        @Scarlett that’s called hypocrisy…if memory serves me, there was a young woman on SoulPancake that chided me for complimenting her and then threw herself at another member of the community like some street walking whore. (I think her screen name was artsgirl)

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  4. Spitfire3dC 1 year ago

    I think my general tendency is to re-direct the compliment back at the giver, or at least consider a person I can share the credit for the compliment.

    Regarding the second part of your question. I don’t think a man can compliment something physical in a woman without it being considered flirting and to be as honest as I can be; I don’t think my intentions when I do that, aren’t exactly that.

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      Scarlett 1 year ago

      @Spitfire3dC I read about compliments in my emotional intimacy devotional. it discusses how a lot of people can’t seem to accept a compliment. maybe it is a self esteem thing that we have to Argue the point

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      • Spitfire3dC 1 year ago

        @Scarlett Some people NEED compliments to offset there inherent sense of low self esteem. Example Trump. He takes it to the next level as he compliments himself. A fascinating example of a narcissist that will do anything to convince others he is a winner. You have to be a “yuge” loser to have to resort to that.

        That particular fact is inarguable after his recent escapade where he pretended to be someone else, to convince a reporter he was worth a 100 million, when he was worth about 5 just to make the Forbes 400. Truth? I don’t know, but his verifiable actions do show a pattern.

        I guess I have trouble receiving them because I have enough flaws I am aware of that make the compliments seem trivial in comparison.

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  5. Yin 1 year ago

    Depends on the compliment and who is giving it. Some compliments I just don’t agree with at all. Sometimes though, I don’t want to seem weird with a person or carry on more conversation (I’m terrible with real life conversation), so I just accept it. I used to be worse where I wouldn’t even say thank you, but I’d smile. I’d smile for everything, which I really regret now. I’ve offended some good meaning people by not speaking and just smiling. Well, only one person on multiple occasions is coming to mind currently (and had nothing to do with compliments), but that is still more than I’d have liked. I’ve come to accept them more, because compliments are good and just the fact that consistently disagreeing with them is not a good social move.

    I think it is ok for a man to compliment a woman in our culture today. Just don’t be weird with it. Stay away from the more sexualized parts of the body, like butt and breasts, and don’t do weird stuff trying to get the person’s attention, like whistle. You find someone has pretty eyes or hair? Say, “Oh, I like your hair,” or something and move on. Don’t just keep on going waiting for something more to develop from it. Now, I’m a guy, of course, so please correct me if that is also flawed. I just see so many times where a guy continues on asking for a thanks or for something more and then complaining that you can’t even talk to women anymore. Don’t be sexual or weird and don’t expect a response back and I’d be willing to bet things would go smoother.

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      Scarlett 1 year ago

      @Yin I am glad that you are strong in your resolve about complimenting a woman. I feel like there needs to be some balance here. I feel like some people take things too far to one end of the spectrum or the other.

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  6. luftballooneyegouge 1 year ago

    I just roll my eyes and continue waving my hand like an oscillating fan.

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  7. 2Thrash 1 year ago

    Feel good for a bit and brush it off like I didn’t hear it.

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      Scarlett 1 year ago

      @2Thrash that is an interesting take on it. So you feel the feeling, but don’t allow the feeling to control how you think of yourself. sounds wise.

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