Do you believe honesty is the best policy? why or why not? Do you lie? When is it okay to lie?




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  1. Jear77 3 weeks ago

    Generally speaking, yes. In some specific circumstances, no.

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  2. ladybarbara 3 weeks ago

    Gotta agree with Jear77 on this. Yes, but in some circumstances no. It may get me out of trouble.

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  3. griz 3 weeks ago

    There was a supposition on one of our lectures that lying actually weakens one’s psychology.
    -It’s almost always trying to avoid something.
    -In a lot of cases it’s something that “accrues interest” (costs more later than it would right now).
    -It takes effort to mask the physiological and psychological signs.
    -It creates an incongruity; a “break” within your thought process that takes effort to both maintain AND work around.
    -There’s always the fear of it coming out.
    -If/when it does part of your reputation is sabotaged.

    We need to remember that the feelings we’re trying to save . . . are often our own.

    Most people can think of an instance when a parent lied to them, and when it was discovered it hurt more than the original truth would.

    Always try to tell the truth — or at least don’t lie.

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      Scarlett 3 weeks ago

      @griz Interesting! I can think of situations where it may benefit ones psychology to tell what is considered a white lie, or at least be the least of the weight to one’s psychology.

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      • griz 3 weeks ago

        @Scarlett
        The full and long-term effects of the lies we tell ourselves can be difficult to discern.
        Now try adding another person to the equation!

        If the other is a child or mentally infirm adult that we are responsible for, that’s perhaps a different issue.

        But I think the general caution against lying recognizes just how insanely complex it can become when we presume a level of guardianship (or pure power) over a competent adult sufficient to justify misrepresenting reality to them.

        I’m not suggesting that this would be an easy endeavor. One would constantly have to walk the line between loving and respecting people enough as to tell them the truth.

        And recognizing that truth without love is just brutality.

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  4. Yin 3 weeks ago

    You should try to be honest as much as possible. There are times though where it just doesn’t benefit anyone. I’m not talking about trying to dodge responsibility for your actions, but there are things that do nothing but hurt or discourage. I guess I’m a fan of sugarcoating some truths if I find it to be beneficial.

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    • Author
      Scarlett 3 weeks ago

      @Yin makes sense, and I was also thinking of situations where telling a small lie would benefit one’s self, but not necessarily harm the other. For example, declining an invitation, but providing a false explanation so as the person’s feelings aren’t hurt by it.

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      • griz 3 weeks ago

        @Scarlett
        I hear you on that one.

        But right now part of me is wondering if events that unfolded tragically here of late might have turned out differently if I had not declined invitations with the explanation that I didn’t have the time.
        Which truthfully I didn’t; but there’s such a thing as making time.

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    • griz 3 weeks ago

      @Yin
      I totally understand what both you and @Scarlett are saying, and agree.

      Part of the course I’m taking right now has us studying the various atrocities of the 20th Century. And most of them proliferated because people were willing to falsify the reality they were living — often for their benefit in the short-term.
      Now there’s no denying that a threat to your very life from a repressive regime is a very good reason to mouth the lie that will see you through the next day alive. But things progressed into body-counts into the millions because of this very process.

      Sometimes there are bigger things at stake than just our feelings in this moment.

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  5. five2one 3 weeks ago

    On the basic level, I try very hard to be as honest as possible, at all possible times.

    But, the world is not a place where our inner selves are apparent, so one always has to wear a deep sea suit to get about.

    I have a lot of different roles I have played, across my life, but I still recognize myself in all of them. Still, though, I find, because of my nature, I am never truly able to be seen, except by those who see me, underneath the undersea suit.

    I see things I have said and done, while deep in one role or the other, and realize what I really mean. But, it can seem far from what I said or did.

    But, I see this in others, who are like me, as well.

    Still, some roles require more obscuring of one’s true self, then other roles.

    In some roles, I have had many layers, and very severe compartmentalization at each layer. But, nowadays, I am rarely in such circumstances. I have seen that multiple layers of compartmentalization can get so bad, with me, I can forget who the real me is, or what I am doing.

    Almost.

    Just depends on how deep one has had to go, I suppose.

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