Are you an introvert who wishes they were an introvert? what kind of a value judgment do you place on introverts?
I am an introvert and okay with that.
I am reading the book Quiet; the power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking.
the writer points out that it was the emergence of dale Carnegie that began the extrovert movement. prior to that we had a culture of character rather than a culture of personality. in the 40’s and 50’s Yale and Harvard purposefully looked for extroverts rather and didn’t want those who were “intellectually overstimulated”.
Steve Wozniak is a more well known introvert. Considered the “nerd soul” of Apple. he advocates for working alone, studying alone etc. he posits that we won’t do anything too successful by committee, and points out that almost all great artists and inventors worked alone.
Today our society still advocates for introversion. there is a new movement whereby companies are creating open office spaces rather than cubicles. they are encouraging employees to share more aspects of them “selves”.
Schools are straying away from the desks in a row, and moving towards several desks up against each other in a huddle. one school the writer visited had rules for group work. among them, “you can’t ask a question unless the whole group has the question.”
How do you feel about this loud, crazy, chaotic unable to be quiet world we exist in? is it better?
or do you prefer solitude and silence?




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  1. spitfire3dc 6 months ago

    How to Win Friends and Influence People. How could anyone not want to read a manual like that, especially when recommended by a mentor?

    That was a big book for me. I’m pretty sure it set me off on the track I chose to pursue. Without it, I may have remained introverted and who can say if that would have been a bad thing. My opinion is that I did better masquerading as an extrovert than I would have as my more natural self.

    I’m ok with an extrovert environment when used to generate positive action, not when it is used for the sole purpose of generating attention towards self. I see value in introverts too. Again when they use solitude in a manner that generates a positive behavior, versus as an excuse to hide what they have to offer.

    Given the choice of being born either; I would choose introversion with skills development associated with acting extroverted. I think it worked for me.

    My preference regarding solitude versus the opposite? Both in as close to equal balance as possible.

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    • Author
      Scarlett 6 months ago

      @Spitfire3dC do you feel more energetic after having been alone or after having been in a crowd?
      There are ambiverts as well.

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      • spitfire3dc 6 months ago

        @Scarlett I’m way more energetic when engaged extroversionally When I spend too much time alone it feels like I am sprialling towards being more so with every passing moment. I don’t like it when I recognize being within that sensation. I have to force myself to intentionally direct the energy towards the vacuum of more, versus the vacuum of less.

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        Scarlett 6 months ago

        @Spitfire3dC on a scale of 0-100, with 100 being you prefer face to face conversation and 0 being you prefer digital conversation, where do you fall on the scale?

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      • spitfire3dc 6 months ago

        @Scarlett 80% live, 20% digital

        I once called a client and told the management to use a F’n phone once in a while, versus relying on digital that tended to be incomplete provision of info.

        He had a meeting and said everyone was pissed off, but they started doing it. I addressed it directly on the phone with them and the productivity and relationships have ALL got better.

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      • griz 6 months ago

        @Scarlett
        I find digital conversations “insulated and isolated”. Sometimes they are the only reasonable option if you are in Iowa and your friend is in Kentucky!

        But they are a pale substitute for face-to-face fellowship. One is in more intimate “fellowship” with cold, dead tech than with person. It’s almost like the person is “the excuse” for becoming intimate with one’s tech!

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  2. Gina 6 months ago

    I love it all. Noise, quiet, crowds, solitude. I had to take a personality test for a job decades ago. They normally had you take the test before you were hired, but they made a mistake and had me take it when I already was hired; so I was free to answer the questions honestly with no fear of NOT getting the job. They have 4 colors that describe 4 types of people and how they respond to different situations. Depending on your mood, you lean more towards one color or the other. I posted the picture of the type of person I am at my most “normal” mood.

    My results came out in a way they had never seen before. All the colors were the same. Does that mean I am a psycho? I think it means I can adapt to any situation at any given time and be completely happy. That’s pretty accurate.

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    • Author
      Scarlett 6 months ago

      @Gina you may have equal or close to equal amounts of traits of both!

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  3. ladybarbara 6 months ago

    I once had a friend who was a REAL introvert. When the whole room full of happy people were singing and dancing in their seats, she was just sitting, quiet and still. I noticed that the color of her clothing matched the walls. At meetings where ideas were shared, if she shared at all, she mumbled in an almost whisper. She said few words. She worked alone in her quiet space and did not participate as a team worker.

    I am not a real introvert. I am balanced and I choose when I will be the quiet one. Usually, that is when I am in a room with someone that does not like me and I will clam up, or give one-word answers.

    In a room of Baha’is, we brain storm and bring ideas to the table. I give my idea a lot of thought and then I put it out there. Once I voice it, it belongs to the group and my ego steps back into listening mode. I actively listen to people and look at the speaker — because I am a bit hard-of-hearing and I lip read and watch body language. I am quiet in the group, but if I am asked to read to the group, I surprise people with having a strong speaking voice of a story-teller. I read with feeling. If the group wants me to sing, I will sing until they realize it was a mistake to have me sing. I can’t carry a tune.

    At home, I am quiet and do more listening than talking. Often, I will keyboard something to Immortal Pirate on facebook, or here —— even when he is sitting 3 feet away from me at the table. Keyboarding is quiet.

    I have had occasions where I had to get up to a podium and speak to hundreds of people in the room. On those occasions I do get nervous before I have to speak. I get so nervous that I will do something stupid, like dress in a hurry and have my t-shirt on backwards. Once I get the first words out, the rest of the speech goes smoothly. I laugh at myself easily, even when embarrassed.

    My favorite books were by Zig Ziggler. If I am feeling down I smile and soon my attitude will match my smile. I am always full of hope and smile easily. Ask me how I am doing and I give a Zig Ziggler enthusiastic , “GREAT!!! and how are you doing?”

    I work best alone, but not in a cubical. I don’t like cleaning the house with someone in the room with me. They tend to distract me, or get in my way. If the person is watching TV, or doing something, I don’t want to be making a bunch of cleaning noises and vacuuming. I am considerate of the other person.

    I am a balance of a light introvert and also I speak out, but most of all, I am an active listener.

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    • Author
      Scarlett 6 months ago

      @ladybarbara these all sound like very nice traits. I like to clean house alone, too.

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      • ladybarbara 6 months ago

        @Scarlett If I start to feel like retreating to myself in a crowd of friends, I make myself do the opposite. I become part of the hospitality and serve. I offer tea, gather dirty dishes and take them to the kitchen. I will stand at the sink and rinse out dishes, stack them neatly, and wipe the counter tops. Outwardly, I pretend to be a part of the gathering in a Hostess-sort-of-way. The real Hostess is relieved by my help. However, what I am doing goes back to my childhood. I hide at the kitchen sink and do the dishes. It is my “bubble” I crawl into. I get to be alone, but everyone brings their dishes to the sink. I am retreated, but sociable, at the same time.

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  4. BelleMadre 6 months ago

    im happily introverted. but i have a job that brings an aspect of social into my days and i find i love it. but its exhausting . which is where the balance of quietude and introversion comes in. as much as i can play the room, i like it so much when the room empties.
    i dont like silence. i like bird calls and music and laughter. but i dont like Noise. i dont like yelling, thumping, repetitive noise. which is why getting kids outside as much as possible is The Way :D
    i think as with most things, it is about balance. we forget it is ok to recharge and restore so we can get up and go again

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  5. luftballooneyegouge 6 months ago

    I think this is one of society’s binary traps. Pick A or B then settle into that role.
    Its whole pitch is:
    Why try to get out of your shell? You’re an Introvert!
    Why try quiet contemplation? You’re an Extrovert!

    I say keep the vert green & skate it!

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  6. griz 6 months ago

    I see in this question a good place to apply the native medicine wheel teaching.

    Two of the four directions are naturally introverted: the
    West and the South. The North and the East are naturally extroverted and out-going.

    Each of the four directions is a “starting gift”. But those who just spend their life there, where it’s easiest and most convenient, never reach their full potential.

    And I think we all know this on some deep buried level. It drives us to dig in where we are most comfortable, and to find many reasons and excuses why we are fine just the way we are.

    After all, moving outside our comfort zone to explore, grow, and expand our awareness can be such dastardly business!

    But in the native medicine wheel, those who have traveled to all four directions tend not to reside in any one direction or “starting gift”, but in the very center: where they can make a slight movement towards any one of the directions and balance almost any situation.

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