When you grieve a death, are you being selfish? Isn’t grief all about you, your feelings of loss?

Or is it a natural process, a “letting go”?




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  1. immortal_pirate 3 months ago

    Letting go is not a natural process, yet it is a necessary process for one to move forward. Grieving loss is part of the process, and all who grieve do so at different rates and stages.
    There are multiple stages of grief associated with loss…but not all of them are universal to all who have to go through the process.
    Stage 1) Immediate denial and even a sense of guilt associated with the loss, which may include distancing ones self emotionally from the situation of the loss, just to function and do whatever must be done. In the case of a death of a loved one, an autopsy may be necessary, and the though of your departed loved one being cut up and examined is a grizzly though.
    Stage 2) Acceptance. This is the stage where one breaks down, cries, and is flooded with emotions associated with being connected to the subject of the loss; a parent, a spouse, a child, or in some cases…a beloved family pet. They are gone. They’re never coming back. Acceptance is the beginning of the healing process.
    Stage 3) Moving on…One comes to the realization that loss is an inevitable part of life. One holds dear the memories and happy thoughts of their departed loved one and the joy they shared together in life…

    For a brief time, after my wife passed, I joined a grief counseling group. The person that was in charge of the group had a book about grief and the grieving process. I recall it said that there were 7 stages to the grieving process, although I gleaned very little from that group. I became aware that there were people in the group who were stagnant in their grief, some had been grieving for more than ten years, and their day to day lives reflected that stagnation…I did not want to fall into that trap, and that is a trap. Grief can be all consuming…if you let it. I was very fortunate to have met Barbara Henry, she helped me through the grieving process, in more ways than I can count…

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  2. Raven Stone 2 months ago

    Anything that happens after death is for the living. It is self-centered and natural. We are hard wired for structure and closure grief is a natural part of that process. Ultimately we have to live with ourselves and those rituals that we embrace socially and personally are part of finding the strength and peace to carry on in light of our loss. To your question, grief is selfish and natural. Grief is the process of “letting go”. It is a way of life and our best chance of getting through it is allowing yourself the time and patience to grieve.

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