• I’d been talking about this with some friends a few weeks ago. I think the problem isn’t just about finding the balance between the two extremes, it’s remembering that the “left” and the “right” are not black and white divisions between two halves of the United States.

    E.g. many civilians think that the “right” is right, or the “left” is the…[Read more]

  • Wow, it’s actually kind of surprising to read these comments.

    I will never watch porn. The mere idea of it is kind of disgusting. I’ll stomach it in GoT just to get to the plot.

    Fifty shades and Twilight – same reason as above. I watched the first Twilight and it made me feel… icky

    Sports. Boring. I’d rather be playing it myself.

  • And we care about this random person because…?

  • Oh, I definitely regret some internet comments :) but not commitments so much. Somebody’s gotta do the stuff in order for civilization to run.

  • @Jear77 I don’t remember what it was exactly, something about prayer. Maybe it was not as important as I thought it was.

  • Yes, Europe has a few shootings every now and then. But is it almost every single month like in the US? No. It’s once every few years.

  • Except for one huge difference: United Airlines – and all other airlines and airports all over the world, not just the United States, took precautions immediately afterwards to limit any possible terrorist activities via air travel. In other words, steps were taken. Responsibility was taken.

  • @griz I was just trying to look at the issue objectively. The paper did not seem to clarify what they meant by “hell” in their methods or how that varies by religion (which, for a scientific paper, they should). But upon looking at the paper, that’s the least of its problems. It lists Pakistan as low crime rate, but I have a book called “the most…[Read more]

  • @griz That’s ok. I’m actually disappointed that I didn’t get notified about your earlier response

  • @Jear77 The nature and reality of God aside, do you consider what I did as proselytizing? That was the impression you gave me.

    Different religious groups have different understandings and even definitions for the word “God”, so I am guessing you are commenting about a meaning of the word “God” that I am unfamiliar with. (I am not a Christian…[Read more]

  • @jear77 Out of curiosity, does mentioning one’s religion in passing, on an internet forum, in a way of explaining one’s philosophy and worldview count as proselytizing? Because I did that once with you, and the conversation went sour after that, even though I had no intention of attempting to convince you of the truth of my beliefs. I just wanted…[Read more]

  • @ladybarbara Me too! I hate it when people ask me what “Baha’i” is, then I feel guilty about hating it, and feeling compelled to say “Google it!”. But I think I should know better that they are not REALLY interested anyway, and it would be a waste of breath.

  • Pause. Acknowledge that your body is giving you a lot of icky feelings specifically as a way to take care of you, making sure you take action. Go for a walk, reach a place with a scenic view and stare out for an hour. Gather your thoughts. Discuss the situation with someone you trust to see their perspective.

    Then, once you have all the data,…[Read more]

  • This is a spin-off from a conversation I had with griz, pertaining to the subject of incels (“involuntary celibates”), as well as young males who act out violently as a result of sexual frustration.

    I guess

    • Let’s start with quit telling girls when a boy is mean to them, trips them, teases them, punches them…”I bet he has a crush on you.” That is such a horrible message to give to girls, and it let’s the boy off the hook. The girl starts thinking this is acceptable behavior and doesn’t fight back and or report it. The boy equates abuse with love/like.

      You shouldn’t teach your kids that love equals abuse.
      Dismissing a child’s bad behavior is bad for the bully and bad for the victim.

      We Should Never Tell Our Daughters: “He’s Only Mean Because He Likes You”

      • @Gina
        I think one of my first posts on sequel, was saying Weenis had a crush on you or Scarlet. :rolf:

      • @Gina
        Neither should boys be taught they are malfunctioning girls, needing to be medicated so their natural energy and curiousity don’t disrupt the classroom — or get lesser grades for equal work. Or be denied recess to burn off some steam.
        Nor should they be taught that most of society’s woes are their fault.
        Nor should they be denied strong stable men in their lives. Thanks to “equality” we can now recognize that almost as many men flee relationships with toxic women who nag and psychologically abuse them, before they do something violent . . . as just up and renege on their marital vows because they are immature (or ignorant) in the ways of the gentleman.

        But then they are also taught that marriage is for something other than to bestow honor on them for being responsible to a commitment made to a woman and to the children they sire.
        Now it’s for all kinds of special-interest paraphilia groups to get “their honor” (participation trophy) for just existing.

    • Introduce them to sports/ sportsmanship?

      • @Jear77
        That used to be part of the answer.
        But there is a real throw-down on competitive sports in some circles of thought and socio-political influence as encouraging and endorsing competitive aggression that now after millions of years, has been decided should be bred out of the species.

    • I don’t think many of these shooters really had the traits of aggression and domineering personalities, from what people who knew them have said. I don’t think sexual frustration is the real culprit, because that’s verrry common, & thankfully these shootings aren’t, even though they feel like they are.

      I think the thread that runs through all these shootings is an inability to socialize & find accepting peers for the non-family tribal bonding that teaches people more about community than any other experience, & gives them people they can hit the release valve with instead of bottling up feelings until they go BANG!

      • @luftballooneyegouge
        Do you think any of these men might have been told their natural traits of aggression and domineering were something they had to just repress without guiding them into areas where they could safely release them?

        The ability to socialize and find accepting peers for non-family bonding can only happen if a child is properly socialized, preferrably by TWO well-adjusted parents, between the ages of 2 and 4. If they are still spoiled and entitled little beasts by age 5, both peers and society start rejecting them and they are left further and further behind.

        • @griz
          It’d probably be perty herrrd to find a boy or a girl who wasn’t told to cut it out.
          @griz NO BITE,… NO!!!

          With enough charisma, one can be both spoiled & properly socialized, with a sense of entitlement & have peers & society adore them.

          These fellas are all lacking some sorta charisma.

          The one kid was in high-school helmetball so he had a physical outlet for aggression, but sometimes guys on the same team will mess with kid’s who’ll just take it.

          I saw a show about the ingredients for a serial killer, & they made a point of including head injuries as a main ingredient. I wonder what these kids’ cranial timeline included?

          This might be the slippery slope towards everybody having to wear bicycle helmets at all times.

    • Childrens’ fundamental behavioural patterns are shaped by the time they are about 6 years old. What they see, what they are told and how they are treated during those years is profoundly influential.

      I think a key learning, specifically relative to your question is the importance of them understanding that all actions have consequences. We have to reinforce, with intention, that other centered behaviours are rewarded and selfish behaviours are not. Intention on the positive and noting the negative in a calm context because we don’t want to illustrate that anger is ever a solution.

      America at the moment is a crucible of toxicity. Negative force is displayed everywhere. People celebrate strength over compassion in business, sports, war, video games, entertainment…

      I think the big issue at the moment is that control means everything, which leads to actions being triggered when individuals experience a loss of control. You can’t keep harping on the fact that one controls their own destiny, when experiences may dictate otherwise and extreme responses become likely.

      When the value of freedom is illustrated by a sense of security, then I really wonder if freedom is in fact all it is supposed to be.

      • @Spitfire3dC
        I don’t disagree that strength over compassion factors high in business and plays out in entertainment like sports etc. But remember that “compassion” is mainly a trait for dealing with children and elders — the immature or infirm. It is putting someone else totally ahead of yourself.
        It maps more into “consideration” in a world populated by competent adults.
        Consider also that “compassionate” businesses tend to go bankrupt very quickly. Share-holders flee them. Consumers take advantage of them.

        Control = power; and that’s what everyone is scrambling for.
        Perhaps “You control your own destiny” is a poor message to just drop on people. It’s more like “In controlling yourself, you take greater control over your destiny”. You cannot control the outside world; but you can control yourself within it. Which then in an interesting way, tends to give you control farther afield.

        But if people are not being taught this, the next best way to deal with one’s neurosity (negative emotions), is to grab enough power to try to control the outside world to your liking.

        A sense of security comes from competence.
        And there are fewer and fewer competent people in the world . . . because the various social deconstructionist movements don’t teach competence, or any other morals or ethics. They teach only power. The power that you can “grab” over the society with various victimhood groups.

        • @griz I think you are agreeing with me but for some reason it seems like you are trying to convince me of something that I think I understand??

          anyway, regarding

          “Consider also that “compassionate” businesses tend to go bankrupt very quickly. Share-holders flee them. Consumers take advantage of them”

          I kinda disagree. Look at Starbucks. Case study for a company with compassionate drivers that can charge exorbitant prices that people willingly pay. Especially those that get the core values.

          MacDonalds is taking a page out of their book. They actively advocate their involvement in “fair trade” coffee beans.

          A paradigm shift has begun and I think it is driven by the understanding of the millennial demographic, that places far less emphasis on money and way more on the softer things that ring contentment.

          • @Spitfire3dC
            Sorry, just viewed a very deep lecture!
            Yea, I’m agreeing. As for trying to convince you of something? I don’t think I intended to. It’s perhaps more like exploring one’s current thoughts to see if they are convincing?

            I’m applying a difference between compassionate and considerate. The trait of compassion in psychology is tied very strongly to the maternal/caregiver instinct. It involves a significant sublimation of one’s own wants and needs for the sake of another’s. It is benefiting the other at your own expense.
            And I cannot think of too many businesses who could survive doing that.

            I hear what you’re saying about millennials with a focus more on feelings than cold hard objectives. It could be interesting seeing how that plays out in another 50 years . . . but if I’m still here I’ll probably be drooling in my porridge and shaking a stick at them for being so infernal!

    • While this might not be a solution, this article talks about this topic

      • @Jear77
        We’re still not connecting the dots.
        A cult is just a “salvational” ideology that people follow “religiously” because some aspect of it is seen as having “saved” them. But without a strong enough positive, it spins negatively into hate, frustration, and the acquisition of enough power to control the society. (A gun is a very big “power” that can exercise a lot of “control” over it’s field of range.)

        This is exactly what happened to the Roman Catholic church to spark the Dark Ages.

        • @griz there are some useful ideas concerning the incels, cult ideas/ ideals aside.

          • @Jear77
            My experience is that there are useful ideas in almost EVERYTHING. And the greater our degrees of freedom, the more obscure places we can look for these useful ideas. (I once went looking for them the Book of Satanic Verse — just to prove they were there. And they are. But they are surrounded by such an array of psycho-spiritual pitfalls that I would not recommend it for anyone uncertain of their spiritual assets and protections. And certainly not for anyone who doesn’t understand that last sentence!)

            We are both insightful and stupid creatures. People don’t get involved in things like cults or turn into raging ideologues just “because they’re stupid”. In hindsight that can certainly be an aspect.
            But people get roped into these things because they exhibit elements of “truth” or “usefulness”. Some that they might even consider “salvational” in specific aspects of their life.

            If we better understand these in the cautionary examples before us, we are better able to spot dangerous or “entrapping” ideals, processes and ideologies before they get ahold of us — or the society we are currently dependent upon.

            Something about the cost of freedom being vigilance?

    • Raise up a child in the way in which he should go and when he is older he will not depart from it. Read to your sons from the Bible, from the womb to the age of majority. Teach him right from wrong. Instill in him the importance of family, humility, patience, forgiveness, and love.
      When having the sex talk with your son, be honest, answer his questions with truth. Do not use pet names for body parts, use proper clinical terminology when describing biological functions of sexual reproduction. The more information you pass on to him, the less likely he is to seek answers elsewhere, usually getting the wrong answers. Ensure that he has a solid understanding of the information and subject matter.
      Re-enforce the importance of family unity and mutual respect for others, with emphasis on respect for women and the proper roll each sex plays in a healthy relationship.
      Don’t regale him with stories of past sexual conquests as this will only confuse him and cloud his judgement later in life. Teach your sons using the tried and true Biblical principles, which will serve him well his entire life.

    • For a very very very long time the best way was in a stable monogamous marriage, with a strong reliable father who taught him how to be a gentleman: how to have all the classic “beastly” traits of the male that women have adored and selected for the past million or so years, but keep the beast under wraps beneath a veneer of civility save for those rare instances it was required to protect home and hearth from the achetypal dragon of chaos.

      But in just the past 50 years, things they are a-changing. With more women calling the shots not just in genetically with selective breeding but in the circles of power in society, the model of the stable monogamous marriage and teaching boys to be gentlemen is going/gone the way of the dodo.

      Now more and more boys are told there is something inherently wrong with them and the heritage women have selected into them. In schools they are treated like they are malfunctioning girls. All of the evils of society are brought and laid at their feet. They are shamed for things they never did, and guilty of “systemic” things that only those-who-are-not-them can see. Due to a combination of factors meaning fewer stable men in the home than ever before, they have nobody to teach them the hows and whys of being a gentleman. They are told their only recourse is to become femi-men.

      Another trait that has been selected for in men, is to keep their women happy. So boys try to toe this line for a while; but find it more and more at odds with their bred nature over millions of years. And pressures naturally build.

      So they become psychologically and sexually frustrated, arguably to even more striking out at society in general or in an increasing number of cases, at women specifically.

      How do we fix this?
      Well, the men can’t. Apparently we’ve had our kick at the can socially and been judged utter failures by the women. So much is wrong with the society we ordered while the women were more than occupied with their reproductive mandate and raising of a strong and productive next generation . . . that they cannot be listed. Only protested against.

      So this one is apparently up to the women to fix. The boys and young men can only hear so many times from mothers, teachers, and society in general that they are useless, dangerous, responsible for everything that’s wrong . . . until they start to actually believe it.
      So what happens to an aggressively competitive young man, bred to be that way over eons, who suddenly finds they have no role, no place, no usefulness save as a sperm repository to be selected or tossed on the genetic trash-heap as the women desire?

      The beast arises.

  • @griz Yeah, I figured you were flexing your newly acquired knowledge muscles. I too sometimes discuss topics I just learned about in order to form my ideas and understanding better.

    It seems like no one has ever really done a consensus about how many people have children. Which I find puzzling. I remember looking into this a while back with the…[Read more]

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