this is a top-fold question

1) romantic relationships: are they worth it?

2) how can you tell if your partner is working on it? meaning, are they healthy, safe, can be trusted with your heart?




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  1. luftballooneyegouge 3 months ago

    Without romance, adventure, & suspense you ain’t got a blockbuster.

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  2. griz 3 months ago

    Before I can answer your first question, I need to ask a question.

    Is romantic relationship the same as an intimate, exclusive relationship? There are many cads and knaves out there who are quite skilled at playing the romance game purely for the sake of personal profit and control.

    As for your second question, there is a concept from the Bible that is called “spiritual discernment”. One discerns “what spirit” is at work in a person or process over time. And this tied to the wisdom Jesus voiced in “out of the abundance of heart the mouth speaks [and the hands move].

    All true relationship involves risk; a leap of faith. Is one’s potential partner (mate?) “genuine” . . . or playing a game? Is there a good spirit at work in the person despite some outward “bad symptoms” of them simply being Human? Are they “too good to be true” as a superficial act, but possessed by an underlying pervasively dark spirit?

    Time is the ally; and impatience (often driven by emotions-of-the-moment) is the enemy. I think there was great wisdom to olde-tyme lengthy courtships and engagements. They had a way of handicapping against mistaking the good acting skills of “a player/controller” for a genuine good process within the core of the person.

    Whereas the modern process of riding a wave of emotions and passion in response to a “good act” leads to much anguish and regret. If someone is a good mate who will endure throughout life, they will be so tonight and also a year from now.

    I think people jump (or hump!?) on account of a good act, because they don’t truly understand love and are afraid it might “dissolve” in a heartbeat if they don’t grab it and jump on it.

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    • Author
      Scarlett 3 months ago

      @griz yes to your question

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      • griz 2 months ago

        @Scarlett
        Any thoughts then on those who would use “romance” as a game or tool for self-profit?

        I asked my question, because I can see a difference (sometimes a huge difference) between a relationship built on romance, and one built on intimacy and exclusivity (what I consider “true love”).

        And yes, I think it is certainly worth all of the travails it may entail. Romance games, not so much — while “romance” can be (is?) a very functional part of true love and intimate relationship.
        (While “romantic relationship” can be very superficial and not resulting in true love).

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  3. ladybarbara 3 months ago

    I think romantic relationships are worth it. It makes me more aware of myself and the dynamic of the give and take in life.

    You can tell if your partner is working on the relationship by paying attention to the happiness and peacefulness of life. Is he making you want to cry??? There is no crying in baseball!!! If he is causing bad vibes between you and there is tension, then one of you is expecting more from the relationship than it is supplying. Do you always feel like the relationship is shaking apart? If you do, then it is.

    A man and woman are like the two wings of a bird. They have to be the same in strength — or, the bird will fly in circles and go nowhere. If one wing of this bird is “not working on it” then the two of you are not going to fly straight. Life will be a circular dance with constant ups and downs with bickering. Imagine a bird whose flight is only circular and inconstant. In a balanced relationship, the flight is smooth because both are contributing to it. Sure, the duties of man and woman are not the same. Their natures are not the same. Men tend to provide and protect and while a woman also provides in today’s relationships, she is more the nurturer. There must be a balance.

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  4. BelleMadre 3 months ago

    while i may not personally be in a place and time in life when i want a relationship, i do think they are worth it.

    all things are a work in progress. but at some point perhaps the question is how long has change been desired? are you satisfied with what is? do you feel as though what is missing outweighs what is? are you happy? are you hopeful? i think if there is well founded hope, then, well, there is hope.

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  5. Yin 2 months ago

    I personally don’t feel they are, which I may have mentioned a time or two around this site. It isn’t to say that they will never be, but I just don’t see it currently. it also depends on what type if person you are. I just prefer the idea of staying friends with someone and not having or ignoring the extra feelings I get/have. I don’t do relationships well. I’m not experienced enough for that second question. Relationships are so hard. It is a situation where you really need to have some logic, but you are blinded by feelings. Both people are blinded by feelings and things can easily go off the rails, or so it felt the first time I was in one. Way too tricky for my liking.

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