What makes someone attractive to you?




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  1. fosheet 1 year ago

    Ohhhh this is a difficult one, because sometimes I see something attractive in one person, then see another person with the same characteristic/trait and it’s a turn off.

    Ultimately, it’s the vibe the person puts off.

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      Scarlett 1 year ago

      @fosheet I understand what you mean about vibes. this is especially true for me and friendship. if I get a dull, lackluster, or negative energy coming from someone I will be repelled, and not engage.

      it has been said that facial symmetry is what defines attractiveness. I believe this plays a role. there are other things that may be crucial for me to find someone attractive, that don’t mean anything to others.

      one criteria I have to be attracted to someone whether it be for friendship or something more is that they have to be able to think critically.

      I think there are elements that repel me, as well. Racism, or almost any of the ism’s would probably do it.

      do you think it is important to be attuned to your needs when looking for either friendship or a mate? one thing I think about is that if I need to have depth in discussion, would I really want to become involved with someone who couldn’t swim? or am I missing out on connections for this reason?

      above everything else tho, the person has to be a safe person and have some degree of emotional intelligence.

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      • fosheet 1 year ago

        @Scarlett I think different people bring out different characteristics and aspects of myself.

        As much as I dislike the -isms as well, I won’t shy away from those people, because I learn more about myself and my tolerances from those people.

        I feel like everyone can teach me something, and I use that to my benefit.

        As far as looks go, I can’t pinpoint one exact thing I like or dislike.

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  2. five2one 1 year ago

    I am happily married. My wife is my cosmic mate. So, not on any market. In many ways, she is just like me.

    Friend wise…

    I look at the heart of a person. It is hard for me to see people otherwise. No joke, have had this proven to me by someone who knew me that well.

    So, have found myself attracted on a friend level, where someone has a truly exquisite heart.

    In my world, the heart is the real person behind the flesh. They have a body in there, and it can be glorious and dreadful in beauty.

    Sex does not come into it for me. That ruins it.

    But, soul bonds are something else.

    When I was younger, it never occurred to me as strange that I felt love for this or that girl, yet never actually put sex into that equation. They were just that pure. It would defile who they are as people.

    These days, if it has not always been this way, the ones who come closest to me were quirky. One would kind of say this song, sometimes singing it, whenever you see her. Another was much overly clothed, including some manner of turban, and she would gifted at helping me come down. Yet another taught me about silencing the heart and feeling the glow of peace there instead.

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      Scarlett 1 year ago

      @five2one a pkr heart?

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      • five2one 1 year ago

        @Scarlett ” pure, kindly and radiant”, I think that is the state to spend a lot of time in, and I find it gives spiritual power as well as helping to keep us from evil…

        Ultimately, though I believe our outside person is as a caterpillar, and our inside person is as a butterfly. At some time I believe we will shed our proverbial cocoon and show ourselves in a different manner of body entirely.

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  3. Yin 1 year ago

    Specifics, I’m not sure. It is basically the pieces they have and if they go together “right.” I didn’t want to use that word. There is not “go together wrong.” It’s just that “right” is what my mind finds attractive. Like, in ladies, there is the face, the eyes, hair style and color. Those are what get my attention first. There is the voice/accent, there are the style of clothes, there are the ideas. I have found attractive people in every race and nationality and accent. Every eye color, hair color, and probably hair style, though there are so many. There have been goths, nerds, preps, trouble makers. It is just a matter of how do these things fit together for the individual. I have found people attractive that others would find less than attractive. I see a lot of supermodels or whatever and while I get that they are pretty, I just don’t actually have any attraction to most of them. There are even some guys that I find attractive, but I’m even more clueless on why (probably since I’m straight and I’m just not paying as much attention or whatever.) Voice/accent is sometimes one factor that I have noticed. Maybe it is the same as the ladies, just toned down a lot.

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      Scarlett 1 year ago

      @yin I think I understand what you mean by go together. I think people can easily find those of the opposite sex attractive and I find that more normal than what we have been socialized to believe. While I think women are more aesthetically pleasing for their curves,typically I don’t want to have sex with them. However, I think either case is fine.

      In class we were given a heterosexual questionarre to drive the point home that we all socialize heterosexuality into humans:

      What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
      When and how did you first decide you were heterosexual?
      Is it possible that your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?
      Is it possible that your heterosexuality stems from a fear of others of the same sex?
      If you have never slept with a member of your own sex, is it possible that you might be gay if you tried it?
      If heterosexuality is normal, why are so many mental patients heterosexual?
      Why do you heterosexual people try to seduce others into your lifestyle?
      Why do you flaunt your heterosexuality? Can’t you just be who you are and keep it quiet?
      The great majority of child molesters are heterosexual. Do you consider it safe to expose your children to heterosexual teachers?
      With all the societal support that marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexual people?
      Why are heterosexual people so promiscuous?
      Would you want your children to be heterosexual, knowing the problems they would face, such as heartbreak, disease, and divorce?

      Know this is not what you were talking about, but it just made me think of it

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      • Yin 1 year ago

        @Scarlett Yea. There are some guys that I just enjoy looking at, which it helps when they are funny and have a good voice. I don’t have any urges to be with a guy, but there is an attraction to some. Though, I guess to be fair, I don’t get many urges to be with any of the people I find very attractive either. I wish I had something to say to them, to talk about. I wish they liked me and we could be friends, but I think that looking for something more has moved from my mind. If something more happens, then it happens, but it isn’t something I find myself worrying with or looking out for.

        Yea, I understand what you were going for. I have thought about similar stuff here and there. Like how when comics or tv shows introduce a gay character. People get all bent out of shape, asking why they forced it or chose to do it. Straight relationships are just as forced and chosen. No relationship at all is as well. They are all a choice of the creator. It is like people find sexuality to have a default section, but it doesn’t. It is a whole spectrum. Sure, heterosexuality may be the biggest part, but there are even variations of that. Like how I said I was quite attracted to some guys. That is different than a straight guy who just isn’t or maybe even a straight guy who is ok with experimenting and trying new things to discover what he truly likes. This isn’t also counting everything else, like gay, bisexual, asexual and the variations of those. There is no default.

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  4. immortal_pirate 1 year ago

    Attitude is the number one attractive quality. I have met some very physically attractive females, but their attitude spoiled it, and made them ugly people. I’m sure the same could be said of me though, I sometimes become an ugly person when my situational attitude rears its ugly head and I come off sounding like an ass hole. (as was the case last night when I said some rather unkind words to @Jear77)

    Attitude is everything…physical looks are merely a shell, the paper wrapping on a box. The content of the box is whats important, not the thin paper covering on the outside.

    I tend to forget that fact sometimes…

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  5. ladybarbara 1 year ago

    Attitude and a sense of humor is most attractive. A person who treats others with respect and honors the waitresses, waiters, and the janitors in this life. I have encountered men who were handsome on the outside and real assholes in life. If you treat others ugly, then it makes you ugly in my eyes. I walk away and never look back. I know that no one is perfect and can keep a healthy attitude 7/24, but a person who is respectful of others and of himself, that is the kind of guy that is most attractive.

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  6. Novelist65 1 year ago

    Confidence, self-awareness, ability to express yourself effectively, sense of humor, spontaneous open minded; those are primarily what I like in other people.

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      Scarlett 1 year ago

      @Novelist65 I am curious, do you find it hard to meet individuals such as this?

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      • Novelist65 1 year ago

        @Scarlett Yes, but that’s why I have to be flexible. No one person will have all those qualities. Everyone is unique and if they don’t have those qualities I’m bound to discover something interesting about them if I keep an open mind. :smile:

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  7. luftballooneyegouge 1 year ago

    Thimble nipples and/or a pulse…

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